He gets bored quickly. Used to be, now is, forever will be.
Mom spoke of Dad so ever dearly. Without a pause, least it is now clear where my restlessness rooted from.
Though so, am different from him. Dinner for the past 2 months has been shrimp dumplings in soup. Song on single-song-repeat for the past month is about a red rose. Exercise regime consisted of Kinesis for 12 months running. Thoughts circling in the greymatter, nothing but disappointment after another. Am not uneasy with the said routine. We are worlds apart.
Past months did not go quickly. Of course life should not be unremarkable. Spiked with champagne bubbly and greyscale polaroid memories. If that fills half of the days, it is a good time. There should not be any complaints, especially when tiny lego bricks were at one point falling into places. The person who invented should, could, and would knows what am talking about. The teeny bricks fall off the stack as easily as they are snapped on. To zero momentum we retreat.
Alas, that must be the scary part. The static movement – an illusion of going somewhere but in reality, it is rotating on its own axis. Going nowhere and giving me a hell of a migraine. Why does one take the effort to break the montony? Why does one keep going when the force to lie still in bed is gratifying?
It hurts that my memory does not cooperate as much as before. Too much Shanghai Fever maybe, it simply hurts to draw a blank and has to helplessly wait for someone to share the watercolors. Know that it is there somewhere, but each time as my fingers glide across the keyboard, everything is faint. Only in personal space it occurs, only in this it is so deterimental. Work pays for rent, and yet it brings everything else to a halt. Work ends someday, and yet it takes away so much.
Irony is you don’t know what you want and you expect someone to know it.
It will turn around. The day it breaks off the axis, the day will be fondly remembered. When is the day arriving? Which terminal?
° it was meant to make sense