Closing in on the change of digit in few months, am thinking that it may soon announce the end of fun-filled laziness and moving onto to oh-dear-you-are-sad mode.
And then, am thinking that I think too much. Am too uptight. Or am I? Ask too many questions with self-imposed answers too. Almost like am living in a sitcom in a one woman cast. Nothwithstanding, am not really surrounded by a darling audience.
2008, till date.
Started on a rampage (trust me, it is a rampage in my terms) of catching up with friends who matter. Well used to matter. Took little courage to peel away from them, knowingly that would be destroying the fabric of my social circle, took alot more nerve to try to stick the lining back again. Which, turned out to be arduous yet slightly rewarding. Is this where I want to be? Maybe.
Started on a job hunt. Had a good start, almost too promising and to be honest, it was a refreshing point of view. Alot of questions with difficult and harder answers. Alot of answers with mind blowing self awareness, previously unknown. It was difficult to talk about 5 years of self-imposed routine. It was also difficult to bring to surface 5 years of “high level work with little relevance to any other companies”. Trust me, they really want to say those words. Am ambivalent about the hunting game, the dance is exhausting but totally necessary. Is this where I want to be? Sadly yes.
Started reading and writing again. Reading keeps it real. Ironic, as it may sound. Least can pretend to be doing something normal and learn few new words at the same time. Writing keeps it simple and head, clear. Wrote a snippet of pseudo-rhyming lines on the back of a business document. Kept it well to ensure that do not accidentally submit it to the MD for a good laugh. Kept it so well, am unable to locate it now. Is this where I want to be? Definitely.
Is this where I have envisioned my life would be? To quote a friend, no expectations. True.
° looking forward to June, very much