Have hit the proverbial wall. Again. Remember the marathon scene in Run Fatboy Run? Just like that, only I don’t know what will help me push through that barrier. No one is rallying behind me, no one is bidding me to move forward, am just circling in standstill.
Maybe it is the lack of sugar and carbs.
This low is not making me lose sleep or appetite. This is just making me think. On days like these, do hate to think. Tried to avoid the mental self-talk with E! news, Hong Kong triad movies from the early 90s and excessive gym-ing. But when the dust settles and the lights go off, would wonder – what went wrong.
Maybe it is the lack of social updating.
Had earlier made a conscious, or some may say childish, decision to stop tweeting and facebooking. Just like when I stopped forum-ing (missing the smashing bunch of ladies, I must add). Had thought it would bring it back to earth. Laughable. It is like inertia enjoys my company. It is like going a full circle and ending right up against the wall.
Maybe it is a bag of excuses.
Greeted May happy birthday with a short text this morning, the usual. Decided to check back with few additional questions. Genuine as they are, she has got to know it is not the typical me. 19 years. One of my oldest friend and I don’t even know what her favourite color is.
Trust is a funny thing.
Many years ago someone walked away, took along the belief in me. Later that day, permanently disabled myself of gaining any from anyone.
° where did Jan/Feb/Mar go?